


Wasted Confidence

by Druekee



Series: Fulfilled MX Forum Requests [69]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Awkwardness, Confessions, Drinking, Drunken Kissing, M/M, Making Out, kiho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 21:49:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15204179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Druekee/pseuds/Druekee
Summary: “Kihyun… you wanna know something?” Hoseok asked, unable to stop his drunken ramblings before they happened. He felt warm, much too warm, and the pleasant fuzziness was blurring his vision, making Kihyun seem more like a dream than reality.“You looked really hot during the concert tonight.”





	Wasted Confidence

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [MBBReqSpot](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/MBBReqSpot) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> MX is having a party after a concert or something and kiho both get really drunk and hardcore make out in front of everyone. the next morning, neither of them remember what happened but everyone else does :o kiho are a little shy and awkward around each other for a bit after that but then they end up alone together again and confess their feelings

Knocking back his third can of beer, Hoseok starts beginning to feel the blissful release of tension that he’d been so desperately craving all day. They were back at the dorm after the Seoul concert for their 2nd world tour and having one of their (now annual) world tour celebratory drinking parties. Hoseok normally doesn’t drink, but after what happened tonight, he needed something to help him forget.

“Hyung, pass me the lime,” Kihyun drunkenly called out from across the room, and Hoseok crunched up the beer can in his fist, setting it down onto the table with a shaky hand. Kihyun… The whole reason why Hoseok was drinking tonight. During their concert, Kihyun portrayed a sexiness and charm that Hoseok found himself much too enamored with; needy, romantic thoughts clawing into his consciousness and making it damn near impossible to focus on his performance. Hoseok had a bit of a secret- he was sort of crushing on his bandmate, and times like this made him glad that he was particularly susceptible to alcohol. He didn’t drink much, and already he was able to focus on something other than Kihyun.

“Hyung, you okay?” Kihyun asked when Hoseok neither acknowledged him nor got him the slice of lime he was after. Hyunwoo ended up passing him the lime when Hoseok barely so much as blinked in his direction, but Kihyun was still curious. Hoseok normally wasn’t like this- he never downed so much alcohol so quickly… he looked dark, brooding, like he was stewing on something serious. Kihyun thought he looked pretty sexy like this, but still wanted to know what was going on.

Snapping out of his trance, Hoseok’s eyes dart up into Kihyun’s, and he’s suddenly bombarded with memories of his presence on the stage earlier. How deathly attractive Kihyun looked with purple hair, how his body moved and grinded with the rhythm, how he would appeal to the crowd in any way he could think of. Hoseok felt his whole body get warmer, and he took in how Kihyun was looking at him right now. His hair was still styled from the concert, but he was in casual clothes, the thin, oversized white shirt hanging off his tight body attractively. 

“Kihyun… you wanna know something?” Hoseok asked, unable to stop his drunken ramblings before they happened. He felt warm, much too warm, and the pleasant fuzziness was blurring his vision, making Kihyun seem more like a dream than reality. “You looked really hot during the concert tonight,” he complimented, shuffling around for another can of beer with painstakingly slow motions. He knew he probably shouldn’t be saying something like that, especially when all of their other bandmates were around, but he couldn’t help it. Kihyun was so _fucking sexy_. 

“Thank you,” Kihyun replied in a soft voice, his face heating up. The rational part of Kihyun’s mind was telling him that it was just the beer talking, but the hopeful and drunken part of him wondered if maybe Hoseok was harboring similar attraction to him. Kihyun had kind of assumed that his crush was one-sided, but… He winced as Hoseok bumped a little too hard into the table, not even flinching despite the loud, resounding bang that filled the air. Naw, Hoseok was totally drunk right now.

“I’m serious Kihyunnie,” Hoseok drawled out, drawing out the final syllable for no less than 5 whole seconds, finally having gotten another can of beer. Kihyun chuckled a bit, quirking an eyebrow in interest. Sure, Hoseok was probably not in his right mind right now, but Kihyun wasn’t hardly sober either. He’d been shooting tequila for the past 30 minutes and his inhibitions were pretty much out the window at this point. 

“Then what was it about me that was so hot, hyung?” Kihyun prompted with a flirty tone, almost masochistically. He knew Hoseok couldn’t possibly be interested in him, but in his current state, he couldn’t really think of the downsides. The other members looked on at the interaction with curious gazes, some chuckling and others looking a little disappointed. Hoseok hummed thoughtfully, his beer forgotten as he looked into Kihyun’s face. Kihyun’s eyes were half-lidded, something mischievous sparkling in them. His shirt kept slipping lower off his shoulder too, exposing his pretty collar bone and slender arm. Hoseok swallowed thickly.

“Your body, your face, your mannerisms,” Hoseok answered in one fast exhale, his expression totally honest. Kihyun blinked a few times, biting his lip gently as he pondered how to reply. “Your lips,” Hoseok continued, and when Kihyun tried meeting his eyes, he realized that Hoseok was solely staring at his lips, watching the way Kihyun absently bit his lower lip. Oh…

“You must really think I’m hot then, huh?” Kihyun asked cheekily, licking his lips and watching Hoseok’s eyes follow the motion. “You must think I’m irresistible,” Kihyun half-asked, half-said, his tongue licking at the corner of his mouth a little bit more lewdly. He giggled after doing so, but he was starting to get slightly aroused just by doing this. Hoseok was staring at him like a starving dog at a plate of meat. Kihyun purposefully dropped his shoulder a bit lower, feeling his shirt slip off his arm a few more inches. Hoseok groaned, and completely forgot about every other person in the room as he watched Kihyun’s overt sensuality. His tongue was so pretty and shining slightly in the light, Hoseok wanted to lean forward and kiss him so bad he was already starting to move towards him.

“Yes,” Hoseok answered, his voice heavy with implication and lust. Kihyun shivered, his eyes darting down to the table as he processed Hoseok’s statement. He grabbed his pre-filled shot glass and took it quickly, not even flinching at the intense burning sensation as it travelled down his throat. He could hear some giggles from the side, but they didn’t matter. He barely had the mental capacity to deal with Hoseok, let alone anyone else. And the booze gave him confidence, gave him the nerve to say the next few words that left his mouth.

“Then what are you waiting for? Come here,” Kihyun slurred out, waggling his finger in a beckoning motion. Hoseok blinked a few times in confusion, trying to figure out what the fuck was happening. Kihyun’s finger was… what did that mean again? He wanted him to come closer? Okay, he could do that. Lurching his body forward, Hoseok wobbled unsteadily towards the other man, making the short distance seem like a long trek with how slowly he was moving. Eventually, he sat down right next to the boy, blinking a few times and inhaling slowly as he tried to regain his balance.

“I think you’re pretty fuckin’ sexy,” Kihyun confessed, his pretty lips parting as he got closer to Hoseok. “And you think I’m hot,” he continued, almost totally closing the distance between them. The air around them turned hotter, and Hoseok swallowed nervously, his eyes staring at Kihyun’s lips exclusively, watching his mouth form the next words with a racing heart. “So let’s just make out,” he offered, and Hoseok didn’t need any other encouragement, his lips crashing against Kihyun’s like a force of nature.

Breath catching in his throat, Kihyun slowly moves his lips against Hoseok’s, shocked that Hoseok actually was kissing him right now and didn’t immediately recoil at the offer. He hears Hoseok groan a bit, his voice cracking slightly from the strain of the concert earlier. Cheeks flooding with color at the sound, Kihyun deepens the kiss, his hand reaching out to grip Hoseok’s shoulder for support. Hoseok’s tongue rubs against his still sealed lips, and a muffled moan escapes Kihyun’s mouth, mind going crazy from the influx of sensations. Hoseok was really kissing him right now, that was his tongue swiping across Kihyun’s lips.

Opening his mouth, Kihyun moans desperately as Hoseok’s tongue swipes across his own, the harsh flavor of beer and something else, something distinctly Hoseok flooding his senses. He wanted more, so he delved his tongue into Hoseok’s mouth, his other hand cupping Hoseok’s chin and angling it better. Kihyun could hear noises, probably from their bandmates around him, but he didn’t give a shit about anything else. Hoseok’s tongue felt so good, so smooth as it works its way into his mouth, Kihyun was addicted already.

With the haze of drunkenness still clogging his senses, Hoseok was on cloud nine. The only thing that existed was Kihyun, who was currently kissing him so passionately that he couldn’t even consider the fact that alcohol might be altering his judgement. Kihyun’s body was so warm but so far away still, so Hoseok reached out and grabbed him, pulling him closer until he could feel Kihyun’s chest against his. His tongue rubbed against Kihyun’s, and he moaned, finding it increasingly harder to think straight. 

Body wracked with the desire to get even closer to Kihyun, Hoseok leans closer to him, pushing his body against his and pulling him closer simultaneously, their lips still intertwined. With the motion, Kihyun loses balance, and Hoseok falls against him, the two now laying on the floor totally flush against each other. They finally part lips, mouths parted in laborious breathing as they stare into each other’s eyes. Suddenly, reality comes crashing back full force, and neither know what to do with themselves.

 

* * *

 

 

The next thing Kihyun sees is the sight of Changkyun, shaking him awake with desperate motions. Eyes cracking open in frustration, Kihyun rubs the back of his head, wondering why his skull was pounding so much this early in the morning, and why the fuck the sun was so goddamn bright.

“Hyung, you need to get up already and talk to Hoseok-hyung,” Changkyun said, his expression turning into a small pout. Kihyun flops his head onto his pillow, his eyes squeezing shut as confusion fills his mind.

“Why the fuck do I need to talk to hyung?” Kihyun groggily asked. He couldn’t fathom why this was of such dire importance that Kihyun had to be woken up when he was clearly sporting a rather severe hangover. He couldn’t remember what all he drank last night, but judging by this pain, it had to have been more than just the tequila he’d vowed on solely consuming.

Changkyun sighed heavily before answering. “Hyung has been a wreck all morning and can’t remember why. You need to tell him how you feel,” Changkyun said, and at that, Kihyun’s attention was fully piqued. He sat up in his bed, giving Changkyun a steadying look.

“…What do you mean by ‘how I feel’?” Kihyun repeated, his heart-race increasing. He could feel vague, hazy memories start to surface but shoved them down, still praying that maybe it was all just some dream.

“Hyung… y’all tongued each other in front of all of us last night,” Changkyun revealed, and Kihyun felt his heart stop. “I’ve known for a while that you both have been harboring feelings, but didn’t think it would lead to that so soon…” Changkyun continued, but his words were totally lost on Kihyun, who was still reeling from the impact of the words Changkyun had said prior. Groaning in embarrassment, Kihyun flops his body back onto the bed, bringing the sheet up to his face and covering his flushed cheeks.

“Fuck,” he cursed out, his mind flooding with memories of the night before. He remembered it now- the passion, the intensity, the pleasure. If he focused on it, he could feel Hoseok’s tongue inside his mouth, could practically taste him on his lips. It was electric and sensual, and even though at the moment he saw it as sexy, Kihyun realized that it couldn’t have been completely consensual given how drunk Hoseok was at the time. Hoseok probably would hate Kihyun for it if he realized how he took advantage of him…

“I can’t tell him,” Kihyun says in a soft voice. He remembered what happened after their kiss- Hoseok had left the room. He was tired, said he was going to pass out early. Kihyun drank then, too, downing his mixed feelings in a myriad of different liquors. He drowned it all in laughter in dumb drinking games with his bandmates, trying to play it cool, but even then, he knew it wasn’t totally right.

“Fine, then I’ll tell him. But you two need to talk,” Changkyun said, shrugging a bit as he exited the room. He’d been tiptoeing around Hoseok all morning, unsure of what to do with him, but after Kihyun had been AWOL for hours- it was time he ended it. Walking into the kitchen, Changkyun breathes a sigh of relief when he notices that Hoseok is the only other occupant of the room. 

“Hyung, I need to tell you what happened last night,” Changkyun declared, and Hoseok turned around quickly, his eyes wide. He couldn’t exactly remember when he went to bed last night, and hadn’t drank in quite a while, so the memories of the night before were fuzzy at best. All Hoseok knew was that he felt weirdly guilty and embarrassed, and whenever he mentioned it to the others, everyone started acting strange around him. It only heightened his suspicions, and he desperately wanted to know what actually transpired last night.

“You and Kihyun-hyung made out in front of everyone,” Changkyun said, finally spilling the beans. Now everyone knew what happened, and they could figure out the rest themselves. Watching the horrified reaction spread on Hoseok’s face, Changkyun winced a bit, briefly wondering if he should’ve just kept his mouth shut.

“That was… real?” Hoseok murmured out, mostly to himself. Memories were flashing in front of his eyes, visions of Kihyun’s sexy body writhing against him, of Kihyun’s tongue grazing against the roof of his mouth… when he woke up, he had those same visions, but assumed they were a beer-induced wet-dream or something. Now knowing that it was all real, Hoseok couldn’t even figure out how to shut his dropped jaw.

“Yeah, it was. I think you and hyung should talk about it,” Changkyun suggested, praying that at least one of his two hyungs would be responsible and talk about his feelings. When Hoseok shakes his head vigorously, Changkyun practically watches his hopes fall.

“I don’t know what to say,” Hoseok replies in a shaking voice, panic starting to set in. Fuck, Kihyun probably knew how much he enjoyed that- Kihyun just did it as a joke, right? There was no way he actually had feelings for him, they were both drunk and tensions were high. Kihyun probably thought he was disgusting. Feeling tears well in his eyes, Hoseok willed them away, shaking his head again. “Thanks for telling me, Kkungie, but I… I can’t say anything to him right now,” Hoseok concluded, and then walked away, grabbing his keys from the counter and walking towards the front door.

Changkyun stood frozen, watching his hyung leave with wide eyes, disappointment flashing in his expression. If they’d actually talk, maybe they’d realize they had the same feelings for each other… Shaking his head, Changkyun started walking back to his room, hoping that his hyungs would figure out their relationship soon.

 

* * *

 

Sadly for Changkyun and the other members of Monsta X, the two avoided each other all day, and when they were forced to be in the same room or car together, they ignored each other completely. It was tense, and awkward, and honestly- everyone just kind of wanted it to be over with already, including Hoseok and Kihyun themselves… but neither had the nerve or courage to actually do something about it, not yet. Both went to bed that night feeling regretful and icky, but the next morning promised new beginnings for them both.

Stretching his arms far above his head, Hoseok groaned pleasantly as he slowly gained consciousness, happy to have been able to sleep well that night despite how bad he felt when he went to bed. He’d been able to sleep on the events that had transpired a night ago, and was now seeing it all in a more rational light. He was drunk off his ass, sure, and definitely did some things he regretted, and he definitely needed to apologize to Kihyun, he still believed this. But, something about Kihyun’s attitude in response to it was a lot clearer to him now. Kihyun was so into the kiss, and judging by how nervous he seemed around Hoseok yesterday, it only made sense for him to be interested in Hoseok, at least a little.

With this in mind, Hoseok gets out of bed, walking towards the living room in nothing more than a pair of pajama pants. Just like most mornings, when Hoseok approached the couch in the common area, Kihyun was already sitting there peacefully, eating a bowl of cereal. Upon closer inspection, Kihyun wasn’t even wearing pants, just an oversized tee and his bare legs on full display. Hoseok’s heart jumped into his throat, his cheeks tingeing a shade of pink just at the cute appearance of his friend. 

“Good morning,” Hoseok managed to greet without stumbling over his words, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch and trying to act casual. Kihyun looked over at him thoughtfully, immediately seeing the change in his hyung’s demeanor. Something had changed over the night, something big.

“Morning,” Kihyun replied, but he couldn’t help but feel a little wary about the suddenly improved communication between them. Clearly Hoseok had come to some kind of decision about their relationship, but whether it was what Kihyun wanted or not was unknown as of yet.

“I… I need to apologize about the other night, I should know better and not let my drinking get out of hand like that,” Hoseok said, pursing his lips. Kihyun seemed a bit surprised by that admission, clearly not what he was expecting to hear. Nodding, Kihyun moves to sit closer to Hoseok, rubbing his knee comfortingly. 

“It’s okay, hyung. I’ll do better to keep you in check in the future,” Kihyun replied, smiling a bit. Hoseok took a steadying breath, and then continued his confession.

“That isn’t all, though. I did some stupid things, I hit on you a bit too much and it escalated pretty far,” Hoseok continued, licking his lips as he looked over at Kihyun. Just at the allusion to their, rather intense, make out session, Kihyun feels his body react, and he bites his lip.

“You were pretty plastered though, it’s okay,” Kihyun said, waving his hand in dismissal, hoping to ease any of Hoseok’s worries- he couldn’t quite tell where Hoseok was going with this, but if anything, it was Kihyun’s fault, not Hoseok’s.

“I know but… I actually have feelings for you, and that’s what makes all of this kinda fucked up,” Hoseok finally admits in a hushed voice, his eyes staring intimately into Kihyun’s. He felt bubbling, nervous tension threaten to eat him from the inside, but he ignored it, desperate to hear Kihyun’s reply. 

“…I have feelings for you too,” Kihyun responds after a few tense seconds of shocked silence, his chest physically hurting from how fast his heart was racing. Was this really happening right now? Hoseok wasn’t mad at him, didn’t think he was taking advantage of him? _He had feelings for him too_? In disbelief, Kihyun stares down at the floor, his mind working hard to crack the mystery. Across from him, Hoseok’s bright, genuinely happy smile overcomes his face immediately.

“You really mean that?” Hoseok asked, and Kihyun nodded, his eyes flashing back to Hoseok’s face and heart melting at the adorable sight. Hoseok looked so relieved by his confession, so joyous. “Then what we did the other night, we can do it again?” Hoseok asked, not even thinking about how quickly they’d be jumping into things if he were to pick up from where they left off last time.

“Hah, yes, if that’s what you want, too,” Kihyun answered, his cheeks dusting red and eyes nervously flickering back to the floor when Hoseok’s excitement gave him too much second-hand embarrassment. 

“Can I kiss you?” Hoseok asked, his voice a little softer, a little more timid. Kihyun was a bit startled by the question, but if it meant making up for their drunken first kiss, then he wanted to. Damn, he really wanted to.

“Yes,” Kihyun responded, his breath catching in his throat as he leans forward, the warm rays of early morning sunshine peeking through the window and haloing them both in a pure, honest light. The miscommunication was over, the weird situation had come to a perfect conclusion. Kihyun closed the gap between them, pressing his lips against Hoseok’s for their real first kiss. Hoseok reciprocated, and they held it for a few seconds, just reveling in the innocent, pure gesture.

Parting after what felt like eons, but what they both realistically knew was only a few seconds, Kihyun smiles at Hoseok, chuckling a bit at his cute expression and flushed cheeks. Just as he’s about to say something, a voice interrupts them. 

“That’s sweet and all, but no more making out in front of us all, okay?” Changkyun’s voice sounds from the doorway, and Hoseok spins around, looking in that direction to see the rest of the members all groggily peeking through the doorway, small smiles on their faces. Chuckling, Hoseok runs a hand through his hair, his eyes darting over to gauge Kihyun’s reaction. Watching the embarrassed flush cover his bandmate’s face, Hoseok can’t help but want to watch him get all flustered again. 

“No promises~” <3

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is written based off an anonymous request on the MX Fic Requests Forum!
> 
> Go to mx-requests-forum.tumblr.com to leave us a request! We hope to hear from you soon~! <3


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